How I Built My Confidence

Confidence is something that always eluded me. I’m naturally an introvert and shy. I was the classic punk rocker in high school, and chubby, so no guy wanted to date me. I’ve heard so many times that, “You’re a cool girl, but I just don’t think of you that way”, or some variation of that phrase. I’ve been cheated on and manipulated by men I loved. It made me question if I’ll ever find love, was it my looks? my age? my ability in bed? my intelligence? I’ve suffered a job loss. That made me question if I’ll ever have security or peace of mind again. It took some work and it’s been a process, but this is how I built and re-built my confidence:

  1. Exercise. I know there’s this whole Eff Your Beauty Standards/Body Positivity movement, however, I was not happy at 180 lbs. It was a hard two years, but I lost the weight and then some. I certainly don’t have what people consider a perfect body, but I love MY body.
  2. Faith. It’s not cool to declare yourself a Christian or person of any kind of faith even, but my church really helped me. I knew no matter what no one has the final word on me but God. So suck it, world.
  3. Good people. My parents are rad. I have some solid friends. I know if someone makes me feel like an asshole, I can run the situation by Brittany or Amanda and they’ll give it to me straight.
  4. Me. Reminding myself of who I am and the things I like. Punk rock. Red lipstick. Scandinavian shows. Writing stories. Realizing this is who I am and accepting it.

I love myself Kendrick Lamar

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